While most everything else surrounding Deflategate remains a confusing, convoluted mess, the rules that kicked in at 4 p.m. Saturday for Tom Bradys involuntary, 30-day NFL sabbatical are simple and straightforward: zero contact.Thats right, during his September suspension, Brady is not only banned from Gillette Stadium property and forbidden to talk to Bill Belichick or any other coaches, hes not even allowed to chat football with teammates away from the facility. Sure, he can still work out, throw and watch as much film as he wants -- as long as its not provided by the Patriots. His trainer is allowed to contact the team on his behalf.Other than that, the ironclad rules governing Bradys time in pigskin purgatory appear, well, nearly Patriot-proof. If the three-time Super Bowl MVP even sees someone resembling Rob Gronkowski shopping for frozen burritos in his local grocery store, he should abandon his cart and sprint the other way until hes rendered incapacitated by fear and exhaustion, like in the AFC Championship Game.In all seriousness, for a workaholic and, arguably, the greatest quarterback of all time, its gonna be a long month. Luckily, weve compiled a handy bunch of ways Brady can maximize his free time. No extra charge for the ideas, Tom.Sure, the rules forbid Brady from any contact with the NFL. But they dont say anything about the Canadian Football League, am I right? It just so happens that a professional football team in Montreal, a mere 300-mile commute up I-89, is currently dead last in the CFLs East division standings and scoring. Look, if the CFL was good enough for Warren Moon and Doug Flutie, it can help Brady, too. If in September you suddenly see a guy named Bom Trady leading the CFL in passing yards, dont be confused. You heard it here, first. This plan has zero downside. Injuries? Canada has universal health care. Montreal is home to the Molson brewery headquarters. And the cooler weather only gives Tom -- I mean Bom -- a head start on showing off this seasons new line of Ugg boots.?Bradys weird wellness diet consists of 80 percent vegetables, zero sugar, zero white flour, zero coffee and, one can only assume, zero reason to live. (Thats unfair, Brady sometimes splurges with avocado ice cream.) After watching Brady get bullied, battered and bruised by the Broncos, who hit him 23 times during the AFC title game, I had only one thought: This poor guy needs some extra padding. His break seems like the perfect opportunity for Brady to expand his palate as well as his waistline. Did you know there are more than 1,200 Dunkin Donut franchises in Massachusetts, or roughly one store for every 6,500 residents? Dunkin is also a major corporate sponsor of the Pats. Well, Ive done the math: The Pats QB could spend up to 30 minutes in every Dunkin store in the state and consume a grand total of 14,400 Munchkins and 187 gallons of coffee this month. Hed return to the field severely sleep deprived but with just enough extra padding to face his next beatdown by the Broncos, in Week 15.?After almost two years, who isnt sick of talking about Deflategate? Tom Terrific must need a healthy dose of salvation, peace and, most of all, silence. There are a handful of top sanctuaries within a few hours from Foxboro. Many offer 30 days of 100 percent silent meditative programs that promise to return retreatants back to their careers reinvigorated with a renewed sense of family values and justice values. Think of it as an extra long Belichick news conference with incense and yoga. Most retreats have a sliding payment scale, so Brady might even qualify for a reduced tuition fee, because hell forfeit $235,000 in salary during his banishment.?As crazy as this election has been, Brady provided one of my favorite moments last September, when he said it would be great if his good friend Donald Trump won the White House and displayed a Make America Great Again hat in his locker. He later told a Boston radio station hed been taken out of context and that he doesnt know whom he will support. All of which made me think Brady uses the phrase taken out of context the way Ricky Bobby throws around with all due respect. Anyway, at the time Trump credited Brady with his 48 percent approval rating in Boston. The candidate Brady once called remarkable is now in a tightening race and looking for all the help he can get. Meanwhile, Brady just happens to have lots of spare time and a need for a daily conditioning routine. Its a win-win: Stump for Trump.?Ben Affleck and Matt Damon have pretty much established themselves as Bradys biggest fanboys. If those guys sat through Bradys performance against Denver (56.4 passer rating) and his similar playoff performance against the Ravens in 2009, then its time for the QB to return the favor. He should spend the month binge-watching all 138 Affleck and Damon movies, starting with a double feature: Stuck on You and Gigli.?This one might hit a little close to home for Patriots loyalists: In July, Russian adventurer Fedor Konyukhov set a record by flying his hot-air balloon around the world in 11 days, then announced hed try next to break the altitude record of 21 kilometers. Wed like to get to 25 kilometers, he said, showing off a beard that would make Ryan Fitzpatrick feel inadequate. If Americas going to be great again, it needs to reclaim ballooning, no? Hmm, if only there were a super-wealthy sportsman/benefactor with a working knowledge of inflation and pressurization who just happened to have some free time on his hands ...?If you told a Patriots fan it typically takes world-class climbers around a year of preparation and 40 days of climbing to acclimate before trying to summit Mt. Everest, you know exactly how theyd respond: Sir Edmund Hillary was a loser! My boy Tawme could do it in 30.One of the main reasons Brady is still playing at an All-Pro level at age 39 is that each off-season he focuses on one specific aspect of his game -- footwork, touch, vision, sideline passes -- and works tirelessly to improve it. (A trick Aaron Rodgers has adopted.) So my guess is, despite all these brilliant ideas, Brady is pretty much going to treat September less like a four-game suspension and more like a bonus 30 days for his off-season regimen. It might take that long to come up with something he needs to improve. I guess his footwork could use a little cleaning up, and even Brady himself has said he wants to work on doing a better job side-stepping that first pass-rusher and keeping plays alive, the way Dan Marino did late in his career. Brady could use a little more zip on his long ball, I suppose, which means focusing on his hips, glutes and core (thats where you generate throwing power, not the arm.) Or, he could work on targeting someone other than Gronk in the red zone, but why? (Unless its J.J. Watt.)More than 2,500 people have won the Lombardi Trophy, but only 555 have been to space. If Bradys looking for the absolute most baller thing to buy during his 30 days off, this is it: Purchase a few $250,000 seats on the first commercial spaceship. Virgin Galactic recently got a license to start shuttling paying passengers 62 miles up, after some more testing, at an undetermined date. Brady could take his family and Gronk. Honestly, who doesnt want to see Gronk in zero Gs?Brady is signed through 2019, but at 39 it might not hurt for him to start planning for retirement. What about a 30-day internship at Drew Bledsoes Doubleback winery in Walla Walla, Wash.? He could learn all about cabernet sauvignon, the transition into the next phase of his life and what could possibly be in store for him should Jimmy Garoppolo set the world on fire during New Englands first four games. Bledsoe bought the land for his winery just a few years after he was severely injured, then cold-heartedly replaced by Bill Belichick in 2001. And if you dont think theres a chance Brady could share the same fate, well, you dont fully understand Belichicks genius for eliminating emotion and rating players purely by their dollar value within the NFLs strict economic structure.As Brady is about to find out, a lot can happen in 30 days away from the game.Illustrations by Ward Sutton Anibal Sanchez Nationals Jersey . 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Ryan Zimmerman Jersey . With the first unit struggling of late and Amir Johnson - one of the teams iron men - hobbling on an injured right ankle, Patterson knew he could get the nod in a challenging matchup against one of the leagues up and coming players at his position. There was only going to be one result when New Zealand full-back Ben Smith dropped the ball onto his right foot in the final few minutes of the 2015 Rugby World Cup final. For looming up on the inside was one of the fastest men in world rugby: All Blacks replacement Beauden Barrett.Yeah unbelievable, for how that ball bounced up I just couldnt believe my luck, Barrett recalled to ESPN.And its just a memory, a feeling that will stick with me for a long time. Obviously it was on the back of a great team performance and it was pretty nice to finish that way.Having come on with 15 minute to play in the Twickenham decider, Barretts fresh legs iced the All Blacks third Webb Ellis crown after Sonny Bill Williams had made a similarly important impact from the bench just after half-time.But it wasnt always about speed for the son of Pungarehu cattle farmers, and brother to seven siblings, with his early running more about endurance that pure pace.I was never that quick as a kid, Barrett told ESPN. I was more into the long-distance stuff: running the hills.Mum would make me run home from school and so on; we had some pretty adventurous cross-country courses, which was good fun.Barrett and Smith were at it again recently during the All Blacks 3-0 sweep of Wales.An injury to fly-half Aaron Cruden gave Barrett 45 minutes at No. 10 in the second Test before he started the third Test in the same position.A return of three tries, a further assist, four clean breaks and a swathe of beaten defenders reflected his superb contribution in Wellington and Dunedin, and only added to the selection headache All Blacks coach Steve Hansen will have come the Rugby Championship.Look it was unfortunate for Aaron and the injury that he had, but it was an opportunity for me to just play footy and, you know, drive the All Black team -- and that was an opportunity that I really enjoyed, Barrett said.I felt quite composed doing it and I really did enjoy that game and a half [at No. 10].As for moving to fullback, as he did in the closing stages of New Zealands 46-6 triumph in Dunedin, Barrett said: [Smith] is a class player; getting pushed back to fullback, it opens my eyes up and theres a lot more time, spacee and freedom back there, and if its alongside Ben its pretty exciting.dddddddddddd But, yeah, I enjoy my time back there as well.[Acting as a replacement] certainly is part of development, playing footy is part of the development, and the time that I have had on the park [at Test level] has mostly been off the bench.But, yeah, Ive really enjoyed my opportunity starting and even if its going to full-back for the last part of the game Im really happy to do that. So theres different ways you can do it, but ultimately its just what works best for the team, and the coaches and selectors make those decisions.With the Test series put to one side, Barrett is now back at work with the Hurricanes as they seek a second straight appearance in the Super Rugby playoffs.Last weeks 37-27 over north island neighbours the Blues brought the Hurricanes within two points of the New Zealand conference lead while ensuring they continue to occupy a wildcard position.But they face a difficult road trip to Sydney for this weekends penultimate round before a final regular-season showdown with the Crusaders in Christchurch.A win over the Waratahs at Allianz Stadium on Saturday will be good enough to secure a semifinals spot; but having dropped their past two against NSW, and six of the last eight, it is anything but an easy assignment.Its going to be a huge challenge for us; both teams need to win, theres no hiding from that, Barrett told ESPN.Were aware of their strengths and theyve got plenty of X-factor, and power and strength in that forward pack as well. So its going to be a great game and were looking forward to it, were just going to have to take the opportunities that we get.We have to win that physical battle; theyve got some really big boys and you know [Hooper] is there, too.The breakdown; its going to be a huge, huge challenge for us to dominate that breakdown because both teams want to play footy and we know theyll do everything they can to slow us down and to give us poor quality ball, and well be doing the same. So whoever wins that battle will win the game. ' ' '