In July and August, espnWs weekly essay series will focus on body image.I was 13 the first time a doctor asked me about my family history of just dropping dead.Less than two decades later, I cant begin to count how many times Ive heard the question. ?Its been twice this week.I was the kid who played every sport and never turned down a chance to run around the park, soccer field or basketball court. Anywhere, really. But it all came to a halt on a hazy September day. The unfamiliar doctor was concerned after hearing a pronounced murmur in my heart through a stethoscope, and then he asked me matter-of-factly: Do you have a family history of just dropping dead?Thus began a journey with my body that continues to this day.I was quickly taken to the local childrens hospital and was initially misdiagnosed with a valve abnormality. Despite the error, my pediatric cardiologist was still correct in his assertion that something was negatively impacting the blood flow in my heart and that it would worsen. He warned of eventual symptoms and side effects and even surgery, but the news didnt feel real to me.At the time, I was lucky, and largely asymptomatic. I knew I had to be careful and what the consequences could be if I wasnt, but I didnt let it faze me. I earned 12 varsity letters in high school, and ran a five-minute mile with ease. I say that not to brag, but to explain just how hard it was to hear that I would not be allowed to play sports in college because of my ailment. It was heartbreaking. While I think I hid it well to most people around me, inside I was angry. I felt like my body had let me down.However, my condition did noticeably deteriorate in the ensuing years, and I had some scary experiences while working out. I collapsed one day after running and knew it was more serious than I had previously acknowledged.After seeing several cardiologists and hearing a slew of opinions over a multiyear span, I was finally diagnosed with hypertrophic obstructive cardiomyopathy (HOCM) in 2014. I was placed on extensive exercise restrictions and put on a twice-daily medication. I was in a constant state of fatigue and frequently got lightheaded and dizzy after performing activities as simple as standing up from my office chair or walking up the steps.I remember looking at myself in the mirror and wondering how I could have gone from such an athletic person to someone who couldnt do much of anything. It was a devastating feeling. In the fall of last year, I went to the Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy Center clinic at Tufts Medical Center in Boston. For the first time, it felt like the medical staff was listening to what I was saying and actually having explanations for it. And not only that, but they had a possible solution to alleviate many of my symptoms.Open-heart surgery. Specifically, a septal myectomy. And while hearing that initially felt like all of the air had been sucked out of the room, I quickly grew open to the idea. I was being given an opportunity to potentially do so many of the things I loved to do again. I couldnt say no.In April, I underwent the lengthy procedure and awoke to my new-and-improved unobstructed heart. While the pain was intense, I almost immediately -- or after the heavy medication wore off -- felt such a sense of pride. I remember thinking: I did this. I made it through this. My body did this.I used to begrudge my body for what it couldnt do, feeling shame every time I had to make up an excuse for why I couldnt join friends at various exercise classes or anger when a one-flight walk up the stairs became debilitating. Now, since the surgery, I look at my body not for what it cant do, but for what it can.Just one day after being operated on, I was able to walk around the hospital corridors -- slowly, to be sure, but I was still moving. While I ultimately required two additional surgeries before going home -- to insert a pacemaker as an unfortunate consequence of the first procedure -- I still continued to get up and walk around. The halls of the ICU were my track, and I faced them just as I faced the actual track during my time as a competitive runner.After nine long days in the hospital, I finally went home, and the next day I walked a mile. Im sure it wasnt pretty, but I did it. I hope I never forget the appreciation I felt for being able to move on my own, breathe the fresh spring air and feel the warmth of the sun on my skin.Now three months removed, I am working out six days a week -- sometimes under the guidance of nurses in a rehab setting, and other times on my own at the gym. In my past life, I was comparing myself to those around me -- wondering why others got to run faster or longer or even why someone was skinnier than I was. But now I have an overwhelming sense of acceptance. Im just happy to be there.Sometimes, I stop and marvel at what I have accomplished over the past few months. I clearly wasnt born with the best heart, but every step I take and every new accomplishment in my journey feels like a victory.Sure, Ive had my setbacks. Running has still proved too tough a task (for now, anyway) and multiple failed attempts brought back some temporary resentment. But overall, I cant believe what Im capable of.I look at the scars on my chest not with disgust, but with pride. They may not exactly land me on the cover of Vogue, but theyre mine -- a constant reminder of what Ive been through and how strong I really am. Maybe I cant do everything I once did, and maybe I never will, but I appreciate everything I can do.And thats good enough for me.DArcy Maine is a writer and reporter for espnW. Follow her on Twitter @darcymaine_espn.? Willie Wilson Jersey . In what the team had called a retirement, Ryan said Thursday that he is resigning as chief executive of the Rangers in a move effective at the end of this month. Peter Moylan Jersey . The deal is pending a physical, assistant general manager Bobby Evans said. Traded from Seattle to Baltimore on Aug. 30, Morse also can play first base and right field to give manager Bruce Bochy some flexibility in writing his lineup. https://www.cheaproyals.com/807a-jamie-quirk-jersey-royals.html . The Brazilian goalkeeper signed a loan deal with the Major League Soccer club on Friday as he looks to get playing time ahead of this summers World Cup in his home country. Nicky Lopez Jersey . Artturi Lehkonen, Joni Nikko and Ville Leskinen had the other goals for Finland (1-0) while Juuse Saros stopped 28 shots. Tim Robin Johnsgard had the lone goal for Norway (0-2). Steve Busby Jersey . Thats not a comment on the suspension that banished the Portland Winterhawks general manager and coach from his Western Hockey League teams bench for most of the 2012-13 season. SEATTLE -- When the struggling Los Angeles Angels and life-support Seattle Mariners play again Saturday night at Safeco Field, the only given is that Mike Trout and the Angels will jump out to a 3-0 lead in the top of the first inning.Not that that has been a recipe for success for Los Angeles (59-75).In three of the past four games played by the two teams at Safeco Field, Trout has hit a three-run homer to put Los Angeles ahead 3-0 before the Angels get their first out. In all three games, Seattle has come back to win.So if Mariners starter Taijuan Walker doesnt issue an intentional walk in Trouts first plate appearance, its understandable.Hes a great player, but you cant keep letting him do that, Mariners manager Scott Servais said.In reality, the Mariners (69-65) probably cant afford another early deficit. Seattles unexpectedly quick comeback from Fridays 4-0 deficit -- the Angels Jefry Marte added a solo homer in the top of the first -- gave a Mariners starting pitcher the win for the first time in a week. Seattles past six games have seen the Mariners starters go 1-4 with a 7.98 ERA.Walker had one of the more effective outings in that span, going 7 1/3 innings but taking the loss in a 4-1 defeat his last time out. Hes still trying to prove himself as a consistent major league starter, having fallen on hard times since opening the season No. 2 in the Seattle rotation behind ace Felix Hernandez.Walkers season, which has been hampered by a foot injury, hit a low when he was sent to Triple-A in early August. He has been a better pitcher since returning, but the Mariners want to see more consistency down the stretch.After Walkers most recent outing, Servais said, He was on top of his game, aabout as good as weve seen him since early in the year.dddddddddddde might have to be particularly sharp early on, especially when facing Trout. The Angels star has killed the Mariners in first innings at Safeco Field, piling up nine RBI behind three first-inning homers.Its just having opportunities with guys on (base) and getting pitches to hit, Trout explained, and not missing them.If the Angels are to get another lead this time, theyll need starter Tyler Skaggs (2-3, 4.75 ERA) to make it stand up. Seattle (69-65) has scored 32 total runs in the past four games against Los Angeles at Safeco Field, including three that the Mariners trailed 3-0 before getting a single out.Skaggs has had a rough go lately but is coming off one of his more efficient starts. He threw six scoreless innings his last time out, ending a three-start losing streak that saw Skaggs post a 10.95 ERA.I do think there are some adjustments that he has to continue to move forward with, Angels manager Mike Scioscia said after Skaggs six innings of shutout ball in a 5-0 win over Detroit.Skaggs is one of many question marks in an ever-evolving Los Angeles rotation. The Tim Lincecum experiment already fell flat, and Fridays loss turned out to be a missed opportunity for former Astros and Phillies left-hander Brett Oberholtzer, who couldnt get a single out in the second inning.Well look at a couple of things, Scioscia said when asked how his rotation might shake out in the next couple of weeks. Weve got a couple things to consider. ... We would love to look at Brett, but he didnt pitch well (Friday). ' ' '